I’m dealing with the cat litter

500 Reasons Why I Hate The Office, a new book by London Freelance Branch member Malcolm Burgess, is packed with the sort of gripes that will be familiar to anyone who's ever sat in on the "work matters" section of an LFB meeting. It covers everything from outsourcing: "No one is immune from humiliating themselves to prove they shouldn't be outsourced," to "being massively over-qualified", and the temp agency's firm conviction that "working in a road near Oxford Street makes it impossibly glamorous".

From the book cover

From the book cover

For those whose experience with "the office" is mercifully limited to a voice at the end of the phone, there's a very 21st century section on working from home. This notes that, while office stiffs can at least claim to be in a meeting, "the poor home worker can only resort to: 'Sorry, I'm dealing with the cat's litter tray.' It just doesn't have the same cachet". "Christmas" we are told, "is a lonely time for the home-aloner - even the dreaded office party takes on a Pickwickian glamour."

For those fed up with the tendency of some employees to diss freelances, there is reassuring advice: "don't be too depressed, many will soon have the chance to experience your exciting new lifestyle firsthand at the next corporate downsizing."

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